Morgans POV during Revelations
by cm4ever
Summary: So we heard of Tobias and reid s P.O.V during revelations, but what about Morgans? How does he feel/deal with his baby brother being hurt and him unable to do anything but watch?
1. Chapter 1

This is Morgans point of view during revelations. I know it is not that original but after reading so many stories of what Morgan feels when and after they find Reid, I thought I shoud do one during the entire time Reid is captured. This is my first Fanfiction so please try to be nice. Also I would like to point out that my quotation marks key is broken but it`s pretty obvious when they are talking.

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**_Chapter One_**

I know something is wrong. After the sherrif says Hankel`s name Hotch`s head snapps up, a panicy look in his eye and reapeats the name with an equally panicy voice. Evidently gidion had also noticed.

`Whats wrong?` Hotch shakes his head and the look is gone.

`I sent Reid and JJ there` he replys

`With back up right?`Prentice asks, i can hear the confidence in her voice, she is new to the team and trusts Hotch and his leadership abilities the most.

Hotch puts his head in his hands and sighs, it was just supposed to be an interview with a witness`

I can feel a small bit of panic begin to creep its way into my chest, but then i shake it off, after all reid is a trained feild agent, but jj isn`t a voice whipsers, the panic is back. Of the two of them jj has had little to no experience in the feild and reid has a tendency to get himself into a shit load of trouble at every scene. I can`t count the number of times he has been held at gunpoint. I quickly whip out my cell phone and dial reids number. It goes straight to voicemail. I frown, while active on a case, every agent must have their phone on, everybody knows that. I dial jj`s next. Like reids, it goes straight to voicemail. Gideon looks at me hopefully, his face falls at my expression. I imagine it must look terrified for their safety, for Hotch sent them straight to a house full of 3 vicious un-subs, willing to find any way to stop the sinners, and by us trying to stop them, i can imagine that they might think us some of the worst sinners out there.

I look at my team, my family, or what`s left of it right now, and say `we have to go to that house now`

Hotch looks up, guilt swamping his face and nods. Gideon puts a conforting hand on hotchs shoulder and squeezes. Hotch does not seem conforted by this.

`m sure their fine,`prentice trys to say reasuringly, but the doubt is clear in her voice.

It is Gideon who calms everybody down by saying `we are worrying over nothing, i am sure we`ll get there and find that jj and reid are fine and the only reason we couldn`t reach them was because of bad cell signals.`

However it does not stop us from rushing to the Suv`s and racing down the road towards the Hankel farm. Unfortuanly, by the time we get there, it is to late.

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I know it is very short but it will get longer if I continue. Should I?


	2. Chapter 2

So heres chapter two. I hope chapter one was good, I know it was really short but like i said i am just starting. Please Please Please, be nice with your reviews.

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_**Chapter Two**_

We get there in record time, considering we probably broke every speed limit in Georgia. The team splits up, Hotch and Gideon go inside the house, while me and Prentice head to the barn. The door is open. I walk in, gun drawn, with Prentice behind me. The first thing I notice is the dead dogs, blood gushing from bullet wounds, and a matress with the remains of Mrs. Douglas. All of a sudden, JJ pops up, gun aimed straight at us.

`Stop where you are` she orders.

It is clear she doesn`t reconize us. I do not care, I am just glad that she is alive. JJ starts telling us that she had to kill the dogs, and that they tore the poor women apart. Prentice and I talk calmly to her, try to calm her down. Prentice then ask her where reid is. JJ has a moment of confusion, then says they split up and he went around back. I leave to search for him. I wonder farther and farther out back, not seeing reid, and notice footprints leading to a cornfeild. I try to follow them quietly but it gets increasingly harder as I start to crunch through the corn stalks. `Reid` I shout. At first i tried to be quite but i didn`t care anymore. My little brother could be hurt right now.

`Reid!`

my shouts get more panicy as I do not get a response. I notice that some of the stalks have been disturbed so i follow in that direction. I take a quick look at the ground and my blood runs cold. The footprints I had been following stopped, and were replaced by drag marks. Footprints that came from another direction stop infront of the drag marks, than turn around and go in the direction they came from, drag marks following behind.

`No` I whisper.

I rush ahead, following the footprints/dragmarks as far as i can, but at some point they just stop. I keep running blindly, not thinking straight, infact the only thing i can think of is reid and the fact that if i stop running, stop trying to relocate the footprints, and not find him here, something really bad is going to happen. Eventually i give up, i have to, there is no way i can help reid by running like an idiot through a cornfeild. I race to the house, not bothering to stop at the farm, if reid was there we would have found him by now. I find Prentice, who is next to JJ getting checked out by a doctor, and pull her aside. I explain to her how Reid followed Hankel into the cornfeild and someone, it didn`t take reid`s genious brain to figure out it was him, got dragged away. At that point Deputy Farraday recieves a call that a man matching Hankel`s description was just asking directions to a motor lodge in Fort Bend. Without saying anything else i race off to find Hotch and Gideon. As i run, my thoughts twist around me, one repeating something over and over. This isn`t going to end well.

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Once again this is also a very short chapter, but it is just starting off. I promise that they will get longer, but only if you want me to continue. Shoud I?


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok i havn`t updated this in awhile, I am soo sorry,, i didn`t actually think people were reading it :P Anyway,, thanks for the reviews, I will try to update faster! This is also short, but longer than the other two chapters, not all info is accurate, I had to make up some of what they were saying. So yeah hope you like :)**

**please review.**

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I race into the house, trying to find out where the hell Hotch and Gideon are. I pass a room with a ton of computers, in my haste to find Hotch and Gideon, I only have quick view. There was at least twenty one different screens, with red and blue lines criss-crossing across eachother. I shake my head in anger, I am pretty sure he has been watching people from these computers. I run into Hotch and Gideon upstairs, they are searching in the bathroom, what they expect to find in their I have no clue, I am sure everything we need will be found on those computers.

`Hotch! I exclaim, adrenline coursing through my vains, even after all that running around I still have lots of energy, `There are drag marks in the feild, we are certain Reid was taken`

Hotch`s face remains impassive, but his eyes fill with worry. Gideon pales slightly, but his expression remains calm. I am not sure how they can remain so relaxed, so calm, my anger is probably showing in my face. I know this because my fists are clenching uncontrollably, and when that happens, my expression is usually pissed. We finish looking around upstairs, I consider it a waste of time, I am sure the computers hold everything we need, and I am somewhat right. There is a whole pile of religous crap, but there are also alot of diaries, documenting pretty much every hour of every day. I sigh as I realize we need to read through these, but for Reid I would probably sacrifice my life, so reading a bunch of stupid diaries is not that bad. By the time we have finished searching, we have filled the table with a ton of papers and diaries which we will need to start going through soon. But first, I phone Garcia. Hotch needs her down here to get into the computers, he has already left to pick her up, and I need to tell her to get ready.

`Hey my chocolate god` Garcia greeted me cheerfully, she has know idea what had happened here.

`Babygirl, we have a problem` My voice sounds so serious.

`What happened to Reid?` She asks.

I frown,

`How did you know it was Reid`

`When isn`t it?` She asks bitterly.

I can`t argue with that. I explain everything that has happened, and by the time we are done, she is crying and getting ready to come here.

JJ, Prentiss, Gideon and I begin to go through the pile of diaries and papers we have piled onto the table. It takes us all night, and we don`t drink coffee because none of us want to use that monster`s dishes, so by morning we are all exausted, and we are not even halfway through. Damn it, I want to shout, If Reid was here, we could be finished this by now. Garcia and Hotch walk in midmorning.

`Welcome to our nightmare` JJ mutters.

Gideon explains to Garcia to go through Hankel`s computer, to learn more about him. Garcia nods and goes to them. Prentiss proceeds to tell Hotch about how Hankel documents pretty much everyday of his life and we will have alot to go through. I want to scream in frustration, we all know it will take awhile, but hearing it said outloud, makes it even worse. Gideon than tells Hotch what we all knew already, Hankel believes no one can stop him with God on his side. That did it, I pound the table angrily, this guy is sick and twisted and under the impression that he can do anything, and right now he has Reid. I decided to go and talk to Garcia, she is almost always able to make me smile, no matter how bad the situation.

As I walk into the room, I look at the screens. They make me confused, as I see they are video games, and other things a teenager would have on their computer. Garcia confirms this when she says,

`It seems to be programmed like a crazy smart high school kid`

I frown, this makes no sense, this is nothing compared to what a psychopathic, religous fanatic would have. Suddenly Garcia hacks into some webcam sites, where Hankel has kept the webcam feeds of the people he has been watching. They are each labeled with a sin, adulterer, liar, theif.

`Hankel can`t hurt Reid right?` Garcia asks hopefully, `I mean Reid is completly innocent`

`Yea but if you dig deep enough, everybody has their sins, even Reid` I say darkly, though I desperatly hope that Garcia is right, what kind of sins could the kid even posess.

I talk with Garcia for abit, than go back to help everybody dig through those mountains of paper. I explain to them what we have found on the computers, than apoligize for leaving, for letting my emotions get in the way. They all seem to understand, as JJ is about to reach her breaking point, Prentiss looks totally lost, she has no idea how to control her emotions when it`s some one she cares about, and Gideon looks worried. I don`t know where Hotch is. One by one, we go through the folders, one by one, we seperate. JJ goes to the bathroom, Prentiss goes soon after, Gideon stays to keep digging, while I decide to go investigate outside alittle. I search around the house, when I find an entrance to a storm cellar.

`GUYS I THINK I FOUND SOMETHING` I shout.

Maybe Reid is down there, maybe he is jsut unconcious or trapped. My heart starts pounding against my chest as I think of a man I considered to be a brother trapped in the dark, probably scared out of his mind. Hotch comes running to me, and we pull open the cellar.

`Reid` I call out. There is no answer.

There is a ton of ice, and at the end of it, a body. It is not Reid. Where the hell was he?


	4. Chapter 4

**OK i no i havn't updated in so long,, i am so sorry! I needed to watch the episode again and again to get most of the information accurate, some things i missed so please bear with it, and ya, which is weird, because you'd think with the amount of time i've watched it, i would have memorized it,, actually evertime i think about it, i think about the ending because that was the best part, when Hotch hugged him, though i do wish Morgan did to,, any way, getting off topic. This one is kind of short, so also please bear with that, I will update a long chapter next :) All msitakes are mine.**

**Please review.**

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Farraday comes to the farm the next morning.

"The coroner puts Charles death to be about six months ago" He tells me.

"That could be the stressor that set him off" I realize, "We need to focus on that time line in his life to figure out where he could be hiding"

I grow excited at the prospect of finally having some idea, some thing I could do, find out, to save Reid. I race into the house, followed by a slow walking Farraday who seems to be taking this whole situation rather calmly, probably because he isn`t as close to Reid as the BAU family is, and rush to find Hotch. I find him re-reading through the journals, so I join him. I frown as I begin to read through the pages.

"Something weird is going on" I state.

"You think?" Farraday asks somewhat sarcasticly.

I decide to continue on with talking instead of punching him. Reid needs me to focus on finding him, not hurting smart ass detectives.

"Seriously somethings not right, look, he updates almost every moment of his day."

I proceed to quote some religious crap that I neither understand, nor do I want to.

Hotch frowns, than reads out an entry from Tobias`s journal. "Father says kill him, I say thou shalt not kill, he says honour thy father"

"So Tobias killed his father?" Asks a somewhat confused Farraday.

"It seems so but look at the dates on Charles entries" I say "These entries are dated from after Charles death. Look at the two bedrooms, one is cluttered from wall to wall, floor to ceiling, and the other is so clean it could pass a military inspection"

"So what you`re saying is Tobias is Charles?" Farraday asks.

"Yes, it seems the murder of his father was to much for his fragile mind, and so his brain split in two to help him deal better with it" I say.

"Three" Hotch says.

"What?" I ask.

"He has three personalities, the father, himself, and the angel Raphael"

I shut my eyes and sigh. This keeps getting worse. It was bad enough that there were three people, but now there is only one, the submissive one, who won`t, and can`t, control the other two inside him. He won`t realize what he is doing, and will not be able to win, because his mind is to fractured. He cannot help Reid escape because there is no where he can hide. I sigh again, than go back to Garcia.

"Garcia log into the system as Charles for me" I say.

"Charles was dead before the murders started" Garcia started to say.

I intrupt, "I know that smarty pants but do it for your boy"

Garcia smiles and starts typing. The harmless pictures are replaced by images of horror and destruction. These were the violent, graphic websites we have been searching for. These are the websites of a killer.

"Whoa!" Garcia breathes.

That one word seems to sum up what I feel. Shock, surprise and anger. I am angry that one man can hold so much death and destruction in his thoughts, angry that he is using God as an excuse to hurt people, not that I believe in him but still, angry that so many people in the world are like him, are able to make these sites, and the most pissed at the fact that he took Reid, that he is probably hurting our babyboy, my best friend, right now, and probably doesn`t give a damn. Suddenly the screens go black.

"What just happened?" I ask.

Suddenly Reid appears on the screen. He is tied to chair, blood dripping down the side of his face. His left foot is bruised, and he has a terrified expression on his face. My anger grows tenfold. I race to the door.

"GUYS!" I shout, "GUYS GET IN HERE!"

I hear their footsteps pounding towards this room.

I turn back to the screen and wonder what he hell is going to happen, and I silently pray, if there is truly a God out there like people say, he will surely not let Reid get hurt, I cannot stand the thought of Reid ,my little brother in all senses, getting hurt, while I can only stand there and watch and not be able to help him. As the teams crowd around the tiny screens, I know we all have the same question in our mind. What is going to happen, and will Reid make it out unscathed?


	5. Chapter 5

**ok thanks so much for reveiwing and alerting this story. You guys are amazing. I am so sorry it took so long to update,, but school has kept me so busy :P Anyway the ending is kind of weak sorry.**

**Please review**

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Hankel walks onto the screen, I do not know which personality it is, but I am sure as soon as he starts talking, I will have a pretty good idea. Tobias has a soft voice, a voice that is terrified and fearful, brought on because of years of abuse from his father. His expression will be one of fear, and his eyes will have a sad, haunted look to them. Charles will have a tough voice, demanding attention, his voice is loud and powerful, because of his dominent personality. His face will be twisted into a cruel expression, his eyes will turn black in anger. Raphael will have a calm, quiet voice. He is sure of himself, possibly more so than Charles, and his expression will be blank. He will have no emotions on his face, he does not care about anything, life or death, happiness or saddness. All he cares about is doing God's work.

"He's been beaten" Prentiss says, still somewhat calm.

I do not get how she could remain calm, compartementilize, when it was one of us up there being hurt.

"Can you track him" Hotch asks Garcia, his tone colored in worry.

"I can't" Garcia says desperatly, typing quickly, "He's constantly rerouting his IP adress"

"I'm going to put this guy's head on a stick" I mutter angrily.

I am not exaggerating either. I swear to god when I get my hands on this guy, he will severely regret hurting our baby of the group. The expressions on everyone else's faces, surprisingly even Hotch, who usually shows no emotions, shows that Hankel will probably not last long when we catch up to him, which we will. I swear to myself, and Reid, that we will get him, hopefully before he can hurt him more.

"They say you can see into men's minds" A voice growls.

I am pulled out of my thoughts and look into the screen. Judging by the facial expression, and the voice, I assume it is Charles.

"I profile them, study their behavior" Reid starts to say, somewhat scaredly.

Because he has fear in his voice, even a little bit, rage begins to creep into my blood. I was already insanely pissed at seeing him tied to the chair, looking so vunerable, so helpless, but now that I know he is scared, I mean it's a given he would be, hell I would be, but still it makes me see red, that someone would dare try to hurt and scare my best friend.

"See that camera, your team is watching, now choose one to die, and I'll give the name and number of the one who lives" Hankel says, pointing to something just out of camera view,

Reid seems to be considering something for a fraction of a second, than he looks straight at the camera, straight at us.

"I won't choose someone to be slaughted, and let you leave their remains behind like some kind of poacher" His eyes flicker back to Hankel.

Hankel rushes forward and roughly pulls Reid out of the chair. Reid gives a grunt of pain, and his eyes swamp with fear. I feel my knuckles clench instinctivally. I hate when people hurt Reid. I promise myself everytime he gets hurt, that I will hunt down who ever trys to hurt him and kill them with my own hands.

"LOOK INTO MY EYES, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M NOT A LIAR" Hankel shouts into Reid's face, who flinches and has a look of desperation on his face. He tries to get away, but Hankel's grip is to strong. "Choose one to die, or they all die" Hankel continues, more calm now.

Reid has tears of fear and guilt in his eyes. He knows he must choose one to die, or risk Hankel killing all of them.

"Ok" Reid gasped, "Ok I'll choose one to live, far right screen"

Hankel drops him and looks down at the screen.

"Marilyne David" Hankel starts to say, then the creep tells us her address.

Garcia quickly jumps into action, typing feircely. She gives the number to Gideon, who calls and starts to explain to her what it happening.

"Just shut your laptop off" Gideon says soothingly, to a probably distraught woman.

Of course she was distraught. She had could have lost her life, had Reid not let her live. I know Reid has not chosen her because he is scared for his life, he is to good for that, but I also know he is blaming himself for not choosing the other people to. He would always blame himself. I turn back to Reid, just as the screen shuts off.

I turn around and leave the room without a second glance, punching the door angrily as I leave. When I catch this guy, I will punish him so bad, he will regret even thinking of inflicting pain on my little brother, that is, if we catch him. I hate myself right now for these thoughts, because I am begining to doubt that we will ever find him, and if we do, will he even be alive? Of course, I scream at myself, Of course he will be alive. This is Reid, he would never cause us the pain of losing him, but I am not so sure if these thoughts were just to help me deal with the sense of loss and sadness that not knowing where the hell Reid was, was causing, or because I actually believe them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok, short again :P My bad. Its just kinda hard to make long chapters for this story. And if the spacing is abit weird sorry, I got some complaints on my other story about the spacing. Anyways... Enjoy I guess.**

**Please Review**

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I am finally finished walking around outside, ripping corn stalks out of the ground, and punching holes into trees, and have calmed down quite abit. I decide to go back inside and look at even more journals, because as pointless as it is, I want to know I am doing something to help Reid.

The one thing I do not want to do, is go to the new crime scene. The people who Reid had not chosen to live. I do not want to see anymore of what Hankel is capable of, I have seen enough. I do not want to go to the crime scene and see what Hankel has done, what new torture methods he may have come up with, because right now he has my best friend. I do not want to see what he could possibly be doing to Reid right now.

Hours pass, Hotch and Gideon have come back. When they had walked in, they both had expressions of saddness etched upon their faces, Hotch though, also has guilt swimming in his eyes. I know why. Every single person on the team knows, even though Hotch has not admitted it out loud. It is not because he sent Reid here, though that is a small part of it. It is because he thinks he takes advantage of Reid for his brain. Like I said, he has never admitted this out loud, to me at least, but I am a profiler after all, I know what he thinks. They tell me about the crime scene, about the bloody, stabbed bodies. I feel sick to my stomach. Sure I have seen worse before, but before, one of us had not been held prisoner by the unsub. I decided to get a coffee. Clear my mind. I head to the kitchen.

JJ comes into the room as I am pouring coffee. I don`t want to use this man's dishes, but I need caffeine. I am only running on adrenline right now, I have barely slept or drunk any food or ate anything in the past day. She looks at me, somewhat guiltily.

"You know it's funny" She says bitterly, "But I keep feeling that the only one we need to crack this case, is, well Reid"

I do not find this funny. I find it true, and it makes me mad just to think about it. We have no where the hell he is, if Reid were here, we would have solved the case by now.

"Me and Reid should have stayed together" JJ finally says, looking at me, her blue eyes wide with guilt.

I sigh.

"JJ get some rest" I say.

"It's what you're thinking, I can tell" JJ says loudly.

"I just want to get Reid home sefely" I say, hoping to end the conversation.

"But if I had his back, like I was supposed to, he'd be here now"

The truth is, I am thinking along the same lines, have been since this whole thing started. Had JJ just stuck with Reid like she was supposed to, none of this might have happened. I mean isn't it common sense not to split up when you are on the grounds of a serial killer, without backup. All you have is the trust of your partner. That whoever it is, he or she will back you up, be there for you. Had I been there, I would have knocked this son of a bitch out if he even attempted to get by Reid. I would sure as hell not split up.

"JJ what do you want from me?" I finally ask.

"I want answers, I want someone to tell me the truth" she says, her face set in determination.

Which is when I realize it. She knows I blame her. She is hoping someone will finally admit the thing she has constantly told herself, that people are constantly denying. That this is truly her fault. Had she not split up with Reid, none of this would have happened.

"The truth is" I say, being short with her, "Is that one of you is here, and one of you isn't. You need to figure the rest out yourself"

Before she can reply, I turn around and leave the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter is painfully short sorry,**

**please review :)**

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The next day finds Prentiss and I going through the house, trying to find anything else that could possibly help us. Right now I am feeling totally useless, and hopeless. Unless Hankel screws up, which seems highly unlikely, we might never find Reid, might lose him. It is with these haunting thoughts, that I come to a sudden realization.

"It has to be somewhere where Tobias would go, not his father" I suggest to Prentiss.

"Why is that?" She asks.

"Think about it, Charles would stay and fight, Tobias would run away"

I watch as she thinks about this, and hope lights up her eyes.

"I'll go back through the journals, and see if there's anywhere Tobias goes to escape" She says smiling.

I know she is not smiling because she has to go back through the journals, a daunting task that we keep coming back to, that keeps frusturating us, she is smiling because we finally have an idea of where Reid could be.

I feel myself smile back at her.

"I'm going to go outside to look at these" She says, grabbing an armful of journals, "I need some fresh air"

"Ok" I say nodding.

I consider going outside too. This house is too hot, to crowded, too full of bad thoughts about what could be happening to Reid, and too religious. Ever since Carl, I never really believed in god, and religious fanatics like this man really piss me off.

Me and Prentiss head outside. We sit on the grass and read the journals as the sun hits our backs. Despite the whole situation, I feel somewhat relaxed now. I do not know how much times passes as we sit there, I think it has only been 20 minutes or less, but I decide to get back up and go inside, see if anyone has found out anything else. I help Prentiss up and we head inside.

As we walk in, Gideon rushes past us, his eyes filled with sadness and guilt. I instantly tense, worst case scenarios running in my mind.

"Gideon!" I exclaim grabbing his arm.

He whirls around and faces me, and I can see so much pain in his face.

And suddenly I do not want to know anymore, suddenly I find myself childishly wishing that this was a dream, that me and Prentiss are still on the grass and that the sun had calmed me enough to make me sleep.

_Come on Prentiss_, I silently urge,_ wake me up now_.

Unfortuantly this does not happen. Instead Gideon`s eyes fill with tears, and he says quietly.

"Reid is dead"

I feel myself momentarily stop breathing. Prentiss gives a startled gasp beside me, but I do not focus on her. Instead I turn to Gideon.

"You're joking right?" I say it in an don't mess with me tone.

He shakes his head and than hurries away.

I quickly race to the computers, and what I see makes my heart break in two. Reid is lying on the ground, limp, pale and unmoving. His chest does not move.


	8. Chapter 8

**I appoligize this is more of a drabble than an actual chapter. I get it must be annoying for my chapters to be so short, So I am soo sorry about that, and thanks so much for putting up with it :)**

**Please review**"No!" I shout, staring at the screen in horror.

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He cannot be dead, my best friend, the man I love like a brother, just cannot be dead. He has been through so much, to much for someone as young as him, and now this happens. He was barely out of his teens, barely had much of a chance at life.

No one has noticed me enter, heard me shout, they were to lost in their own sadness, there own pain.

JJ has slid down the wall, her face in her knees, her body shaking with sobs. She has lost her best friend, nothing can replace him.

Prentis, who has somehow slipped in without me noticing, is staring at the screen in shock, her hand is on her mouth. She is sad, but not crying, no tears slide out, of course it is understanable. She has the weird way of compartementilizing and she doesn't know Reid as well as the rest of us, after all she is newest to the team.

So unlike Prentis, Garcia has tears streaming down her face. She looks so sad, so broken, I want to go and hug her like I normally do, after all she is my babygirl. But I can't, no matter how much I want to, I can't get myself to move, I am frozen to the floor.

Hotch has sadness and a fury in his eyes so unlike anything I have ever seen before. He allows a few tears to fall, he will deal with all his grief later, right now he has to remain strong for us. His hands are shaking, I almost feel sorry for Hankle, at the thought of what Hotch will do to him when we catch him, almost. I mostly want him to suffer and die.

I angrily turn around and punch the door hard, repeatedly. I feel tears fall down my face, I do not try to wipe them away, I just continue to punch the door as rage flows through my blood. I promise to myself that when I get my hands on this man, I will hurt him, torture him, make him pay.

Suddenly Prentis's voice cuts through my violent thoughts.

"Guys!" She exclaims.

We look at the screen and see Hankle, my knuckles crack, heading towards Reid. Hotch hurries off to get Gideon.

Hankle kneels down beside Reid's limp form.

Don't touch him, I silently growl.

Suddenly he does something I do not expect. He begins to give Reid CPR. Hotch and Gideon are back in the room, and we stand and watch, praying that Hankle can save Reid, praying that Reid has god on his side.


	9. Chapter 9

**OK so I did try to make this one longer than the previous chapter, which I did,, can't help but admit im a little proud :) Thanks so much for the support,, it means alot to me :) I got some info confused, made up some things,, but its generally the same, which is what I'm aiming for so it won't ever be to changed.**

**Please review :)**

**Warning"Swearing**

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Hankel pushes down on Reid`s chest, blowing air into his lungs, he does not stop, not even to take a breath of air. And all I can do is watch. Watch as the man who has taken and hurt my best friend, is the one who has to try and save his life, because I couldn't be there for him, because I couldn't protect him like I had promised myself I would. I have never felt so helpless in my entire life. The fear and anger I feel is is worse than Carl Bueford, worse than when he hurt me, and worse than when I had to confront him. It was almost a physical feeling, a small ache in my chest, which I knew would only intensify, once we were sure Reid was dead. Once we were sure we would never see him smile or hear one of his random statistics again. The pain in my chest becomes more pronounced as I think about losing him. Suddenly I hear a cough, a very familiar pain filled cough. I pull away from my thoughts and stare at the screen in absolute shock and happiness. My best friend, a man I love like a brother, is alive, is breathing. I cannot help buyt grin, which quickly gets wiped away as I see Hankel`s expression changing. It goes from fearful and wary, to a twisted scowl, anger filling every area on his face.

"Shit" I curse out loud.

No one turns to face me, no one even glances in my direction, they are all to focused on what is happening on the screen. Hankel is pulling Reid's chair up, roughly. Reid bounces forward and than backwards, slamming his head into the chair. I feel my knuckles crack. This son of a bitch may have saven him, but if he hurts him again, I will personally kill him with my bare hands, not that I didn't plan on doing that anyway.

"Guys!" Prentiss suddenly exclaimes, "The murder occured at 9:04 pm, and the video was uploaded at 9:23 pm, that's only a 19 minute difference"

"So if we take the suburban roads into account, the cabin should be in a 17 mile radius of the crime seen" I say, smiling, happy that we finally have at least one thing figured out.

"Guys" Prentiss says again, this time less excitedly.

"You came back to life, that can mean only one of two things" Hankel says, eerily calm.

"I was given CPR" Reid replies.

I hate to hear the fear and pain that is betrayed as he speaks. He is trying to remain calm, but it is clearly not working. I once again wish I could be by his side, and just tell him everything will be ok. Also so I can beat the living crap out of Hankel as soon as he lays a hand on Reid.

"How many members are on your team?" Hankel asks.

"Seven" Reid replies.

He starts sprouting something about the seven archangels versus the seven angels of death. I assume he is referring to us. Judging by the religous crap, Raphael is back in control.

"Choose one to die" Raphael says, his voice and face blank, void of any emotion.

"What?" Reid asks, his voice is filled with renewed pain.

I think he is remembering the last peaple he had to choose to die. I know he will never forget them, the guilt will never leave him.

"One of your team members, choose one to die" Raphael replies.

Reid shakes his head, "Kill me"

Those two words make my blood run cold, my heart stop beating. Reid has to choose one of us, he has to, there is no way we can go on without him.

Raphael pulls out a gun, aiming it straight at Reid's forehead. My knuckles crack, and my blood fills with rage, while at the same time my heart floods with fear. Reid could possibly die, with us only being able to watch.

"Choose one" Raphael insists.

"No" Reid says calmly, his face his blank, accepting.

He has chosen to die, and there is nothing Raphael can say that will make him change his mind. I shake my head back and forth. _Just choose someone, _I silently beg.

"Life is a choice" Rpaheal says.

"No"

The gun clicks again.

Suddenly Reid frowns, what he does when he is thinking. _Come on, use that big brain of yours, _I think.

"Choose"

"Ok" Reid replies, "I choose Aaron Hotchner"

My eyes open wide in surprise. I am happy that Reid is alive, but I was hoping he would choose me, because we are closer, and I feel like the guilt would be less on his part. He will feel so guilty over this, and had he chosen me, I could have constantly reassured him that it is not his fault, that I was hoping he would choose me, but Hotch does not usually do that, he will say it is ok once, but that will be it. Hotch will move on, and Reid will be stuck, unable to move on because he is sure Hotch is mad at him.

Reid's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

"He is a classic narcassist, always puts himself above the team"

I know instantly that Reid is going to give us a clue. That is the only reason he would continue to insult Hotch, even when he knows we are watching, also because he would die for us, for everybody on the team, so if he were to choose one of us to die, it would only be because there is a chance he will live, and we will find him, a chance that he could drop us a hint of his location. When he quotes Gen. 23:4, about someone putting their selves above everybody, Hotch's eyes widen, and he races out of the room. I hope he didn't take it personally, I hope he got a clue from what Reid has just said, because I sure as hell didn't, he talked to fast for me to even catch half the sentences.

"BAM!" The gun fires.

I watch as Reid instincitivly shuts his eyes and winces as the bullet collides into the wall behind him. A bullet that could have killed him. I once again feel the ache in my chest as I think of him dying. He has so far avoided death twice in only a couple of minutes. I can't help but wonder jsut how many chances he has left.


	10. Chapter 10

**You people inspire me! seriously the reviews make me really happy, and the fact that you guys want me to continue writing all the way to Jones, which i will do, means alot to me.**

**This story is as accurate as I could make it, but its not that accurate sorry. I tried.**

**Please review :)**

**Reviews to me are like the last movie to harry potter fans. (well maybe, it depends if your excited to see it, or really sad to realize its over)**

* * *

When the screen goes off, I don't even bother asking Garcia to try and get it back. It is a live webcam feed, and no amount of fiddling with the computer will be able to help us.

"We should talk to Hotch" Gideon suggests.

I nod, and we file out of the room. We find Hotch in the hallway, reading the bible.

"I'm not a narcissist." He says as soon as he sees us.

"Oh come on like you can't.." Gideon starts to say, but Hotch cuts him off.

"Quick everyone tell me my worst quality."

We stare at him in silence. There is one or two things I could say, but I'd rather not because he is both my boss and my friend. I do not want to disrespect him.

"Fine I'll start" Hotch says, "I have no sense of humor"

"You can sometimes be a bully" JJ says.

"You can be a drill sergeant" I admit.

"You choose men's words over women" Prentiss adds.

Hotch nods, "Great, I am all of those things, but not a narcissist, I would never put myself above the team. Me and Reid were argueing about the defintion of a narcissist, he knew I'd remember that. And look"

Hotch pauses to show us the bible verse Reid has quoted.

"This passage is about a cemetary, not about character, Reid wouldn't get that wrong unless it was on purpous"

Hotch has a hopeful expression on his face, I share that same hope.

We hurry back to the computers, and Gideon tells Garcia to pull up the first time we saw Reid. I can't help but wince as I once again see the blood coating his head, and his fearful expression.

"I can't let you go out and slaughter them and leave their remains behind like some kind of poacher"

And for the first time, I notice how is eyes dart to stare straight at the camera, straight at us.

_Damn, _I inwardly curse, how could we have missed this?

Garcia pauses it just as his eyes turn to face Hankel. I am happy we paused it here, I do not want Reid to look at that son of a bitch.

"Garcia narrow down the area in the 17 mile radius where poaching has been reported" Hotch orders tensely.

We are so close now, we can't afford to screw up. We manage to narrow to an area around a place called Marshel.

"Garcia, Tobias wrote in his journal to keep clean and stay away from Marshel." Prentis puts in.

"How many cemetaries on in that land?"

Garcia's fingers fly across the keyboard.

"One!" She exclaims.

"Let's go" Hotch says, racing out of the room.

We get into two SUV's. I choose to drive one, Gideon drives the other.

"GO!" Hotch shouts.

Normally he would drive, but I have a feeling I am probably best suited for this time, after all, when Reid is concerned, I drive incredibly fast. This is the reason why I believe Hotch and Prentiss decided to ride with me. They are able to keep calm more, and they have more of a death wish than JJ and Gideon.

"VROOOM!" The engine roars to life.

I quickly hit the gas pedal, and race across the gravel road. I leave a trail of dust behind me, and with it the other SUV. I can't help but notice how Hotch and Prentiss grab onto the door handle. Apparently they don't love my driving to much.

"FASTER!" Hotch shouts.

I shrug, it's his idea, besides every second wasted obeying the traffic laws, is another second in which Reid could die. I watch as trees turn into a blur, than melt away all together as I speed down the road, pushing it to 180 mph. Cars screech and honk as I drive by. Evidently I had forgotten to put the sirens on. As I do, I notice how the honking stops. Apperently people don't mind an idiot driver on the road, as long as they have a legit reason for driving so dangerously.

"Left!" Prentiss says.

I swerve around the corner, and barely avoid hitting a pick up truck. I honestly feel like the speed that I'm going, I will probably die instantly if I do hit anyone. I turn a few more corners, than bump along a country road. I speed up as I see the cabin, than slam the breaks. The car swings a full circle, than screeches to a stop, a cloud of dust flying through the air. We hop out, and as we get to the door, Gideon and JJ pull up. We wait for them, I can't help but notice that they have less of a greenish tinge than Prentiss and Hotch, and than I kick open the door.

"FBI!" I shout.

There is no answer.

I shine my light through the cabin. It is empty, aside from some screens, a webcam, a stove, and the chair where my best friend was tied. I am tempted to shoot the chair, but I know it will only waste time, and alert Hankel we are here, if he doesn't already know.

"What's that smell?" Prentiss asks in disgust.

I look at the stove and notice some kind of liver or something roasting. _Gross._

"Ok" Hotch says, "Split up and search outside."

We race outside and start flashing our lights. The cemetary is actually kind of creepy. Which is weird, because I have seen worse. Maybe it's just because that Reid could be anywhere here, lying on the ground and dying. I shudder at the thought and immedietly try to wipe it from my mind. The one thing I never want to consider is Reid dying.

Suddenly a gun shot rings out through the night.

"Reid!" I hear Hotch shouting.

_Shit!_ I swear inwardly.

I race towards where the gunshot had come from, where Hotch had screamed out to Reid. I wonder what I will find.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chappy,, i actually dont know, whatever it says in the chapter thingy. Please review :)**

**Hey does anyone know what Reid's secret will be this season, it says something about genetics and i dont want him to be a schitzo,, if they cancel him out, I'm not watching the show.**

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I race forward, praying that I will not find Reid shot, lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood. I shudder at the thought. Suddenly I am standing beside him. What I see shocks me. Hankel is on the ground, dead. Good, I think to myself. I know it is wrong to think death upon someone else, but he deserved it. He hurt my best friend. Reid is kneeling, next to the body. When he looks up at us, my heart breaks. He looks so sad, so lost. I want to pull him into a hug right there, but Hotch beats me to it. He helps Reid up and suddenly they are hugging.

"I knew you'd understand" Reid whispers.

As Hotch lets go, JJ races forward.

She pulls him into a hug.

"I am so sorry" She says.

"It's not your fault" Reid replies.

When they pull apart, JJ walks past me. She wipes at her eyes. Which is when I realize I am crying. I do not have tears steadily flowing, it is more like drops. I assume it has been the stress of the previous days, and the fact that we could have lost Reid. Another tear drips down my face as I think about losing him. I give him one last glance, before I head away. We stand a distance away, watching as he kneels over Hankel's body. I assume he is paying his last respects. No matter how much Reid has been hurt, he always feels guilty if he has to kill someone. He jumps up, slipping a hand into his pocket, and limps over to us. I immedietly off my arm as support. He stumbles and latches onto it.

"Come on kid, let's get you to the car"

He gives a tiny smile. It is not his usual one, it is full of pain and sadness, but at least it's a start.

I help him into the car, wincing as he lets out a cry of pain.

"Reid what's wrong?" I demand, already knowing it's a stupid question, so much is wrong.

"My foot" He groans.

I shine my flash light on it, and feel like gagging. It's a blackish, blue color. You can see the bones poking out underneath the skin. It is clearly broken. How he made it this far by limping on it is lost on me. Maybe it was adrenline. Reid lets out another pitiful cry. I quickly slam the door and race to the driver's side. Hotch and Emily jump in at that moment, they're lucky, I would have driven to the hospital without them, without a second thought. I don't care about manners when my friend is in pain.

I blast the siren, and roar down the road. The car bumps down the road, and my heart aches as I hear Reid cry out every bump.

I get to the hospital in record time, during which Reid has somehow fallen asleep.

"He looks so young" Hotch says.

"I know" I growl, a fire is burning in my eyes, "That's why he attracts all the physco's"

Suddenly Reid starts crying out in his sleep.

"I don't want it, please" He begs.

Prentiss quickly reaches to him and shakes his shoulder.

"Reid" She says gently, "Reid wake up"

His head shoots up, I had no idea he has that much energy, and he pushes himself as much as he can against the seat.

"Please don't" He begs again.

It is a very pitiful sight.

"Reid" Hotch says gently, "Reid it's us"

"Hotch?" He mumbles.

"Yes kid, and Morgan and Prentis" I say.

"We're at the hospital" Prentis says gently.

He nods. "K"

It turns out that I end up walking him to the door. He is dragging his feet on the ground, half asleep. Luckily he is to far gone to notice the pain in his foot.

As I drag him inside, a bunch of nurses run up with a stretcher. I gently lay him on it, and he instantly falls asleep.

The nurses wheel him away, and Hotch, Prentiss, and I head to the waiting room. JJ, Rossi, and Garcia come to meet us a couple minutes later.

"How is he" JJ asks as a way of greeting.

"We don't know" I say.

JJ sighs and plops down onto the seat.

I begin to pace, to much emotions inside me to sit down. I don't notice the time passing, all I can do is think about Reid. And how much I wish Hankel was alive so I could kill him myself, in a painful and slower way.

"Spencer Reid" Someone calls out.

I look up to see a doctor with a clipboard walk up to us.

I race foreward and am at his side within seconds. It is time to learn what happened to Reid during that time alone in the cabin.


	12. Chapter 12

**OK, tried to get as accurate as possibly, sorry if not that great.**

**Please review *wide puppy dog eyes***

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I feel sick. Sick and furious. Suddenly the happiness of finding Reid has evaporated, and I am left with a cold feeling in my chest. The worst thing is, we should have forseen this, we should have guessed that this would happen, but instead we lived with a false hope, a false hope that when we found him, minus a few injuries, he would be fine. And yes he is injured, which I feel badly about, but his injuries, a broken foot, a minor concussion and a few scratches, are nothing compared to what has happened, what is about to happen. He has been drugged, enough to make him addicted, enough to have killed him had Hankel not saved his life. And now, he must go through withdrawel. Which, as the doctor has tried to explain to us as nicely as possible, will probably be very painful for him. Which is what angers me, hurts me the most. The fact that we have saved him, and he still has to be in pain.

"Would you like to see him?" The doctor asks kindly.

"Yes" Hotch says quietly.

His normally stoic expression is stripped away. And like other very rare times, we see what he is truly feeling. And right now he looks really, really pissed, and worried. His eyes are full of sadness, and I realize how much harder it must be on him when one of us gets hurt. He is the team leader, and he feels that he must protect us, keep us safe, and everytime we get hurt, is another time he has failed us. Right now, I feel the same way. About myself, not Hotch. Reid is like my younger brother, and he is really hurt right now, because I couldn't fucking protect him like I should have.

"Right this way" The doctor says, pulling me out of my thoughts.

We walk down a narrow hallway, me in the front, and end up right outside door number 453. As I walk into the room, my heart clenches. Reid is asleep, his face twisted in pain, and he is begging someone to stop. I know what he is talking about now. He is begging Hankel to not put the drugs into his system, because in that cabin, he knew every single fact there was to know about that drug, and how addictive it was. I wince as I imagine how scared he must have been. How much he must have pleaded for Hankel to show just an ounce of mercy, and not inject him. My blood fills with rage at the thought.

"Reid!" I say, not loudly enough to scare him, but loud enough to wake him up.

I rush to the bed and gently shake his shoulder.

"Reid, wake up it's a dream!" I say.

Reid's eyes snap open, and he looks at me, his face filled with fear.

"Reid, it's Morgan" I say gently.

Slowly his fearful expression melts away, and sadness and pain is left. I wish that the fear is back, because at least than I could help him, comfort him.

"Hey" He rasps.

"Hey" I say, smiling slightly.

The rest of the team comes and crowds around the bed.

"How are you Spence?" JJ asks, looking down at him sadly.

"I'm fine" He says quietly.

"Reid don't lie" Hotch says.

"I'm not" Reid replies.

"We know about the drugs" Hotch says.

Reid's shoulders slump, and his eyes fill with guilt and shame.

"It's not your fault" I say immedietly.

"Can you please go, I want to be alone" He says quietly.

His voice is so broken, I want to hug him, make him feel less alone than he obviously feels.

"Reid.." I start to say, but trail off as I see his expression.

He is starting to pull away from us. If we don't give him time, he will totally withdraw from us. Something I do not want to happen. Evidently Hotch notices also.

"Ok, but we'll be back soon" Hotch says.

We follow him out of the room, all of us reluctent, and group around in the hallway.

"Hotch, we need to go back in there" I say.

I know Reid wants to be alone, but we just got him back, had we been seconds late, he could have died. For my selfish reasons, after two hellish days, I want to know that Reid is safe. Want to be able to see him, and finally protect him like I hadn't been able to.

"No Morgan, he was pulling away from us, I could tell even you knew that" Hotch says.

"Why?" JJ asks.

"Because he's ashamed of the drugs" Gideon puts in.

"Which is stupid, it's not like he asked Hankel to inject him!" I exclaim.

"Morgan we know that, but does he?" Prentiss asked.

"Of course he knows!" I exclaim, "He was fucking there, for two days, without help!"

Everyone winces and guilt fills their eyes.

"No I mean, it's Reid, he'll somehow twist this around and blame himself" Prentiss says.

I realize, considering how new Prentiss is to the team, that Reid is really easy to profile. Anyone can read him like an open book, which is probably what attracts unsubs to him.

I wipe this thought from my mind, I don't want to think about him getting kidnapped again, when we just got him back.

"When will withdrawel occur?" I ask.

"The doctor says it varies depending on the type of drug, because this drug is one of the more highly addictive ones, and because he got so much in such a short time, his body will be craving it very soon, possibly right now" He pauses.

"So withdrawel will set in very soon" I say grimly.


	13. Chapter 13

**Please review :)**

* * *

We spend the night in Reid's room. Everyone else has fallen asleep on the chairs around his bed, the stress of the past few days finally catching up with them. I do not sleep, infact I spend the whole night watching Reid protectivally, making sure no one else will hurt him. It is around two in the morning when he starts whimpering.

"Please!" He begs, "Don't"

His face twists into a mask of horror and he starts crying out.

"Morgan! Help me! Please I'm right here, please..." His voice trails of as he begins to sob.

I leap up and race to his side.

"Reid" I say, shaking him gently, "Reid I'm right here"

His eyes fly open and he grabs onto my shirt.

"Morgan" He sobs.

I slowly pull him into a hug, a hug that I should have given him in the graveyard, when we had first found him. He tenses for a moment, than hugs me back. Which reminds me, what was he doing in the graveyard to begin with?

"Reid?" I ask as he pulls away, "What did you dream about?"

He tenses again, and his eyes glaze over with fear.

"Come on kid, I wanna help you, just tell me what's going on in that big brain of yours"

"I was back in the graveyard" He says slowly, his voice filled with sadness and fear, "This time he managed to bury me, and you were right above me, you looked into the grave as he was throwing dirt over me, but you didn't see me, you just turned around and left, leaving me to die"

I shut my eyes and feel my blood fill with rage, this is why he was in the graveyard when we found him, Hankel was going to bury him alive.

His wide hazel eyes fill with tears again and I feel my heart break.

"Reid, I would never leave you to die" I say, wincing at the thought of him dying, "And if I had found him burying you alive, hell if I had found him before you shot him, I would have probably beaten him to death"

He gives a tiny, sad smile at that, and I wonder if I will ever see his real smile again.

Than suddenly the smile is gone.

"Morgan" He gasps, and I know exactly what he needs.

I race to the garbage can, grab it quickly and get back to the bed just in time.

Reid grabs it and throws up into, waking up the rest of the team, and when he has nothing left in his stomach, he begins to dry heave.

He gasps and whimpers in pain everytime he can, and I once again feel useless and helpless. My best friend is hurting once again, and once again there is nothing I can do to help.

I gently rub his back, hoping to give him a small sense of comfort, while everyone else stands around, feeling just as useless as me.

"I'll get a doctor" Hotch says, walking quickly out of the room.

A couple seconds later, Reid is done. He lays back onto he bed exausted.

I grab the garbage, not giving a shit about the smell of vomit, and put it back in its place.

Hotch comes back into the room, a doctor following.

We stand back as he checks over Reid, than looks at us sympethetically.

"Withdrawel is starting"

* * *

The next few days have litterly been hell. Reid has been constantly throwing up and his face his a mask of pain whenever I see it, which is not very often. The only relief I can find in this whole situation, is that withdrawel should be over soon, and things will start to go back to normal. He does not want me, or anyone to come into the room. Which hurts me, because we are best friends, and he doesn't want to see me. But I know why, he is so ashamed and embarresed of having an addiction to drugs, of not being able to prevent Tobias from injecting him, which is stupid as I try to tell him everytime I manage to get into the room without him snarling at me to get out.

"Kid there is nothing you could have done.." I trail off as he looks at me, his face twisting into an angry expression.

"Yes I could have!" He snaps, his voice is laced with self hatred, "I could have somehow gotten him to stop, I had his profile, I could have talked him out of it"

"Reid you're being irrational" I say, "There was hardly a profile for him, he had three personalities"

"Yes that each had their own profile!" He exclaimes, "Tobias was weak, he gave in, and was controlled by his father, I could have used those against him!"

"No you couldn't have, he made up his mind that he wanted to inject you, because he thought it was helping you escape from his father, which is what he thought was the right thing!" I exclaim, he was trying to protect you!"

Reid just shakes his head, "I could have tried harder"

"Reid" I say gently, "I'm sure you tried as hard as you could"

He looks up at me, his face a mask of pain.

"The last time he injected me, I didn't even try to fight it that hard, my body craved the drugs, I wanted them, I was so weak and pathetic I couldn't wait for the drugs to take me away"

I feel like a blade has been pushed through my heart. Reid hates himself so much, and there's nothing I can do to help him.

"Kid it's not your fault" I try again but I stop as I realize it has no effect.

Reid has layed back on the pillows, his eyes clenched shut, a few tears allowing themselves to slip out.

"Please, leave" He says quietly, all the fight gone out of him.

He has given up, he is convinced that all this is his fault, and nothing I will say or do can change this.

"Bye kid" I say quiety, getting up.

He doesn't say anything as I leave the room.

I can't help but wonder if I will ever get the real Reid back, or will we lose him forever?


	14. Chapter 14

**Please review :)**

* * *

Another night has passed, and with it another painful conversation with Reid. I try so hard to figure out why he hates himself so much, I know as a fact it is not only because he couldn't prevent the drugs. I think back to the two days he has been missing, back to the times when we could see him. And than suddenly I realize it. The first time we had seen him he had to choose someone to die. I remember the look of guilt and pain that was in his eyes and I wince as my heart goes out for the kid.

"Reid, it's the couple isn't it?" I ask, straight to the point.

I instantly feel bad about bringing it up as Reid's face is once again swamped with guilt and pain.

"Yes" he answers quietly.

"Kid, it's not your fau-"

"Yes it is!" He interrupts me, "I-I chose them, he hurt them, the look of fear on their faces"

His sentences are all over the place, but one sticks with me.

_The look of fear on their faces._

"What do you mean, the look of fear on their faces, kid he didn't make you watch did he?" I ask in shock.

He looks up at me, his hazel eyes full of sadness.

Anger almost instantly fills me. It fly's through my blood and fills up my heart.

If this son of a bitch wasn't already dead, I would kill him myself, with my bare hands.

"It's my eidetic memory" Reid whispers, "I remember every single thing, the look on their faces, the way he slid the knife across her throat"

"Reid stop!" I order, I don't want to hear anything else.

Of course Reid has that damn eidetic memory, it is both a curse and a blessing. Right now it is fully a curse.

He clamps his mouth and looks away from me, again.

"Kid, it's not your fault" I try again.

He doesn't respond, but I can see his body shaking with sobs. It hurts so much to witness, to know that this is happening to my best friend.

I reach out and grab his shoulder, I want to comfort him, but I do not know how.

"Reid look at me" I say.

He turns his head, and my heart breaks as I see the tears flowing down his cheeks. I remove my hand from his shoulder and gently wipe some tears away.

"You couldn't have prevented this" I say quietly, gently.

His eyes are full of battling emotions, and as much as I hate it, I know I have to leave. He needs some time alone right now to figure this out.

I give his shoulder a squeeze and than I get up to leave.

"Morgan" He says, his voice heartbreakingly small.

"Yea kid?" I ask, turning to face him.

"Thanks" He says, a small smile gracing his lips.

* * *

The day passes as we sit in the waiting room.

Suddenly a doctor, Reid's doctor, walks up to us, a smile on his face.

"Spencer's withdrawel is done" He tells us.

I grin.

"Thank god" JJ breathes.

I notice how Hotch is giving one of his rare smiles, and Gideon and Prentiss are also grinning.

Garcia is crying.

I pull her into a hug.

"Babygirl" I say laughing, "He's gonna be fine, everythings gonna be alright."

* * *

We pile into the room, and Reid looks up at us.

"Hey" He says quietly.

JJ races to his side and pulls him into another hug.

"Spence we missed you!"

"I'm sorry" He blurts out.

"For what?" Hotch asks.

"For being rude, and ignoring you guys for the past couple of days" He replies.

"It wasn't you" Gideon says, "It was the withdrawel"

He smiles. It is not his full smile, not as bright, but it is better than nothing.

And I feel like everything will be ok, our youngest is healing and soon the family will be whole again.

* * *

Reid is cleared to leave tomorrow, and when I walk into the room, I can't help but grin at the sight.

Garcia is knitting next to him, and Reid is shouting, because one of his wrists is handcuffed to the bed.

"Garcia the doctor cleared me!" He shouts angrily.

"Sorry kitten" Garcia says, "But he cleared you for tomorrow morning, not tonight.

"It's midnight!" He exclaims, "It is tomorrow!"

Garcia opens her mouth to retaliate which is when I decide to step in.

"What's going on?" I ask, trying to hide my grin.

"Garcia handcuffed me to the bed" Reid whined.

"That's because he tried to leave" Garcia replied.

"Well I'm tired of this stupid room!"

Reid reminds me of a little child right now.

"Where did you get the handcuffs?" I ask.

"You don't want to know" Garcia says playfully, waggling her eyebrows.

I grin at her, than turn to Reid.

"Sleep" I order, "in 10 hours you can leave"

"Fine" He grumbles, "But first can you get the handcuffs off me, it's kind of uncomfortable"

"Garcia where's the key?" I ask turning to her.

She fishes around in her pocket for a couple of seconds, than her eyes widen.

"I-I think I lost it"

Reid's shoulders slump and my grin becomes more pronounced.

"Ok we'll find the key, if you sleep" I said turning to Reid.

"Ok" he says sourly.

I look over at him when I hear light snoring and I can't help but give another grin.

He looks so peaceful and for once he doesn't cry out in his sleep.

_yup, _I think happily to myself, _Our family will be fine._


	15. Chapter 15

**I'll be honest I totally forgot about this story because i've been so busy with other stories and life. School, studying, it was challenging, but I'm done for the summer so I decided to update old stories and I came across this. This is the last chapter/epilogue thingy. It's also kind of foreshadowing. Its also very short. Enjoy :)**

**Thanks so much for the support and reviews :) **

**All spelling mistakes are mine.**

**Epilogue**

At first it seems like everything is going to be ok.

Maybe not great, nothing could just be great after the hellish days we had all been through, but ok.

Reid was happy. Our team was back together, and after hours of searching, we finally found the damn handcuff key.

I still don't want to know where Garcia got them.

It's when we are out of the hospital that there is a noticible shift in the mood of my team.

Things become tenser.

Theres a nervous thrum to the air.

But it's Reid who changes the most.

He seems to curl in on himself, making him seem smaller, more vulnerable.

I do not understand.

Is he scared? Does he think he will be attacked out here?

No, that is not it.

I can't quite place my finger on it, but there is something off about him.

It's in his eyes when he looks at me and smiles, a thin smile that isn't quite his old smile.

It's a longing for something.

Something that he really needs.

I automatically think of the drugs, than immedietly shake it out of my head.

No the doctor said he was done, Reid told me straight to my face that he was done. He wouldn't lie to me.

He probably just needs to rest, he needs things to go back to normal, he needs this to be a bad dream that he will wake up from anytime now (and god damn don't we all need that?) there are millions of things he needs right now that aren't drugs.

Like maybe he needs a place to stay so he won't be alone.

"Reid." I say, sitting down next to him on the plane.

It takes him a moment to respond.

"Yes?" He asks quietly.

"Would you like to stay at my house for abit, you know, in case you don't want to be alone."

He looks at me and something flashes in his eyes.

It's hope, it's happiness.

But it is gone in a second.

He carefully schools his expression, gives me that god awful fake smile, and shakes his head.

"No thanks, I'll be fine on my own."

"But-"

He cuts me off.

"Morgan I just want this whole thing to be over. I want things to go back to normal."

"You sure?" I ask, wanting to make sure.

"Yes Morgan, I'll be fine." He says turning around to look out the window.

For some reason, I don't believe him...


End file.
